नवरा बायकोला संध्याकाळी मॅसेज करतो,

"हाय मला आज उशीर होईल यायला, प्लिज माझे सगळे खराब कपडे धुवून ठेव
आणि मी घरी पोहचायचा अगोदर तु माझं आवडीच जेवण करुन ठेव."

थोड्या वेळाने तो परत मॅसेज करतो,

"अजून एक सांगायच विसरलो की, आज माझा पगार विथ बोनस झालाय त्यामुळे ह्या महिन्याचा शेवटी मी तुझासाठी सोन्याचा नेकलेस घेणार आहे"

बायकोने मॅसेज केला - "अय्या, खरंच का?"

नवऱ्याने reply केला,

"नाय ग , मी तुला माझा पहिला मॅसेज भेटला का नाय ते CHECK
करण्यासाठी असा मॅसेज केलेला" :-P

बायको शॉक
नवरा रॉक

EK MARATHI MANUS RAJNIKANT LA BEST KARU SAKATO

my reaction when some one asks for an extra sheet during exam

Love and Arranged Marriages

Love Marriage	Arranged Marriage
Resembles procedural programming language. We have some set of functions like flirting, going to movies together, making long conversations on phone and then try to fit all functions to the candidate we like.	Similar to object oriented programming approach. We first fix the candidate and then try to implement functions on her. The functions are added to supplement the main program. The functions can be added or deleted.
Family system hangs because hardware (called Parents ) is not responding.	Compatible with hardware ( Parents ).
You are the project leader so u are responsible for implementation and execution of PROJECT- married life.	You are a team member under project leader (parents) so they    are responsible for successful   execution of project Married life.
Client expectations include exciting feature as spouse cooking food, washing clothes etc.	All these features are covered in the SRS (System Req. Specification) as required features.
Love Marriage is like Windows , beautiful n seductive.... Yet one never knows when it will crash....	Arranged Marriage is like Unix .... boring n colorless...  still extremely reliable n robust.

Windows in Hindi

Bill Gates was in India last year. He announced that Microsoft plans to release a Windows version in Hindi. Here are some of
the Windows related terms that have been approved by Bill Gates to be used in the Hindi version of... Khidkiyan 2000:
( More appropriately Atyant Mulayam Khidkiyan 2000 )

Atyant Mulayam = Microsoft
Khidki = Window
Phaail = File
Bachao = Save
Aise Bachao = Save as
Subko Bachao = Save All
Mujhe Bachao = Help
Madad Pe Madad = Help On Help
Dhoondo = Find
Firse Dhoondo = Find Again
Hilao = Move
Chaara = Options
Bura sandesh yaa phail naam = Bad command or file name
Garbh girao, Firse koshish karo, Naakaamyab = Abort, retry,fail
chhavo = Tile
Aadmi Bhejo = Send Mail
Daak = Mail
Daakiya = Mailer
Bhaago = Run
Chhaapo = Print
Dekh Ke Chhaapo = Print Preview
Chipkao = Paste
Khaas Chipkao = Paste Special
Mitao = Delete
Kagaz Uper = Page Up
Kagaz Neeche = Page Down
Anth = End
Saaf karo = Clear
Sab Kuch Saaf Karo = Clear All
Makan = Home
Topi Ka Tala = CapsLock
Hathiyaar = Tools
Khuli Chaadar = Spreadsheet
Futaas Ki Goli Kha = Exit
Ped = Tree
Chooha = Mouse
Chooha Chalak = Mouse Driver (Software)
Tik-Tik Karo = Click
Idhar-se-Udhar,Udhar-se-Idhar Wala Danda = Scrollbar
Pardha = Screen
Pardha Bachanewala = Screen Saver
Krimi = Virus
Tika = Anti Virus
Karo = Do
Galthi = Error
Ghusao = Insert
Pahle Ghusao = Insert Before
Beech Mein ghusao = Insert Between
Baadhme Ghusao = Insert After
Chabi Phalak = Key board
Choohha Ka Bisthar = Mouse Pad
Avaaz Phodney Wali Cheez = Sound Blaster
Antarjatiya Jaal = InterNet
Baath Cheeth Dabba = Dialog Box
Chale? = Exit

FOUR YEARS OF ENGG

FE-- fond of engg
SE-- sick of engg
TE-- tired of engg

BE-- bhad mein jaaye engineering...!! :P

Ramayana by Bill Gates

When Bill Gates was in India, he had a chance 2 listen
Ramayana from Atal Behari Vajpayee. After returning 2
US he wrote it in his personal Diary. A Tabloid in US
got a copy of his writings.These are excerpts from his
diary.

Ramayana by Bill Gates.
LAN, LAN ago, in the SYSTEM of I/O-dhya,there ruled a
PROCESSOR named DOS-rat. Once he EXECUTED a great
sacrifice PROGRAM after which his queens gave an
OUTPUT of four SUNs--RAM, LSIman,BUG-rat and SED-
rughana. RAM the eldest was a MICROCHIP with excellent
MEMORY. His brothers,however, were only PERIPHERAL
ICs. Once when RAM was only 16MB, he married princess
'C'ta. 12years passed and DOS-rat decided to INSTAL
RAM as his successor. However, Queen CIE/CAE
(Kayegayee), who was once offered a boon by DOS-rat
for a life saving HELP COMMAND, took this opportunity
at the instigation of her BIOSed maid (a real
plotter), and insisted that her son Bug-rat be
INSTALLED and that RAM be BOOTED to the forest for 14
years. At this cruel and unexpected demand, a SURGE
passed thru DOS-rat and, he collapsed,power-less. RAM
agreed to LOG INTO forest and 'C'ta insisted to LOGIN
with him. LSI-man was also resolved on LOGGING IN with
his brother. The forest was the dwelling of
SPARCnakha,
the TRANSISTOR of RAW-van,PROCESSOR of LAN- ka.
Attracted by RAM's stature, she proposed that he
marry her. RAM, politely declined. Perceiving 'C'ta to
be the SOURCE CODE of her distress, she hastened to
kill her. Weeping,SPARC-nakha fled to LAN-ka, where

A To Z of Friendship

How To Catch a Lion !! ??

Ø Newton's Method:
Let the lion catch you.
For every action there is equal and opposite reaction. Implies you caught lion.

Ø Einstein Method:
Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion. Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon. Now you can trap it easily.

Ø Software Engineer Method:
Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion. If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion.

Ø Indian Police Method:
catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to accept that its a lion.

Ø Rajnikanth Method:
Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime. The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself .

Ø Manirathnam Method:
Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark room with a single candle lighted. Keep murmuring something in its ears. The lion will be highly irritated and commit suicide.

Ø Karan Johar Method:
Send a lioness into the forest. Our lion and lioness fall in love with each other. Send another lioness in to the forest, followed by another lion. First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd lioness. But 2nd lioness loves both lions. Now send another lioness third) into the forest. You don't understand right... ok....read it after 15 yrs, then also u wont !

Ø Yash Chopra method:
Take the lion to Australia or US.. and kill it in a good scenic location.

Ø Govinda method:
Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days.

Ø Ravi Shastri method:
Ask the lion to bowl at u. U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run .

Some Definition

Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other. 

Etc.: A sign to make others believe,you know more than you actually do.

Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test..

Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and a woman gains her master's.

Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.

Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feelingyou have never felt before.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage ..

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power .

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody beleives he got the biggest piece

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present...

Opportunists: One who starts having a bath when he/she accidently falls in a river ...

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

College: A place where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing.

Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet"

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Divorce: Future tense of marriage

Software Engineer's Wedding Invitation!